Philippians 2 in Slow Motion

I've long attended churches that preach through books of the Bible at a very slow pace. Several-years-for-one-book slow. Like "didn't we talk about this chapter last week/month?" slow. In this crazy, hectic, fast-paced world there is something profound and beautiful about being forced to slow down and dig deep and have patience in learning and growing.

I'm not a preacher but I thought it would be a worthwhile writing project to attempt something similar on the blog by writing on a single passage a number of times. With that in mind, today's post marks the first post, hopefully of many, on one of my favorite passages: Philippians 2:1-18.

"So, if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind." Philippians 2:1-2

I love a good argument. Something about logic, persuasion, and the process of uncovering falsehoods is invigorating to me. My poor, peace-keeping (conflict avoiding) wife is often taken along for rides she never signed up for as I process through different disagreements or difficulties that I find myself in. Bless her heart for putting up with me!

While this love for arguments might seem combative, disruptive, or sinful on the surface I think that often times it can be a redemptive force for building deeper faith and truer relationships. What Paul does in these first two verses of Philippians 2 is a great example of this. With great rhetorical flourish he nails to the wall any excuse that a believer might employ when holding grudges, feigning cooperation, and allowing relational discord to run rampant. Paul doesn't hold any punches in this argument as he brings clarity to the importance of unity among believers.

Paul presents a very simple if/then scenario with some initial conditions laid out that, if met, will lead directly to specific attitudes and behaviors. The argument is convicting and leaves no real opportunity for counter-argument. Ironically, his argument here is about believers not arguing!

Let's take a look at how he does it, starting with the "if" side of things.

• If you find any encouragement at all in being found in Christ...
• If you are comforted, even to the slightest degree, in His love...
• If you have the Spirit, the seal of our approval and wellspring of our righteousness, at work in your life...
• If you have any affection, sympathy and softness of heart that comes from experiencing God's grace and mercy...

Paul isn't setting up scales or measurements for any of these "if" conditions. He is making it plain and simple that you are either in or out. It is a pass/fail endeavor with no measuring, comparing, or judging degrees of compliance. It issues a serious heart check as each layer of the argument adds force to what comes next. Paul presents a checklist of what we experience in Christ. This means that if we are walking with God there are no circumstances where can we say "that isn't true of me." Hopefully you read that list and said "check!" to each one.

The "if" conditions of Paul's if/then argument are obviously and always true of those who trust in Christ which means that the "then" which follows is something that we ought to pay careful attention to. The inescapable outcome that Paul desires in this argument is for the unity of purpose in love for all believers. He leaves no wiggle room for us to not make that our desire as well. Paul's joy and God's purposes are found in the "then" of second half of this conditional argument.

• Then be of the same mind, namely that of Christ who seeks his Father's glory...
• Then have the same costly, sacrificial, forgiving love as Jesus...
• Then be in full accord, being singular in purpose with all gifts working together...
• Then have one mind that seeks first the kingdom of God...

Paul has us all nailed to the wall. If...Then...

I wonder how many of us make unity with other believers a focal point of our walk with God? Paul sees our personal experience with Christ and the personal benefits of knowing Him as absolutely inseparable from our pursuit of unity within the body. You can't have one without the other. 

And yet...

Look at our marriages. The cold shoulder we give our spouse after their careless words. 

Look at our families. The little grudge that turns into an unforgiving, petty, sibling rivalry. 

Look at our church battles. Gossiping and spreading discord because we disagree with a ministry approach.

Look at our hearts. The unspoken "they had it coming" or "well, if they are going to act like that" or maybe "it's not worth the trouble". 

Don't read this and pretend that you don't have times and places where you turn your heart from others. This isn't other people's problem. This is every person's problem. It is worth it to take a moment to listen to that check in your spirit and acknowledge your shortcomings in this.  The good news is that you're not alone and you're not without hope.

What is profound in these verses is that all of the "then" outcomes that we see and all of the things we struggle with living out are things that are done in us and through us by Christ himself. Verse 1 reminds us that our encouragement is "in Christ" and then later in verse 5 we read: "have this mind among yourselves, which is in yours in Christ Jesus."

Did you hear that?  All of those "then" aspects of Paul's argument that we can't or won't do are already being done in Christ. Our task is not to work harder to try to like others or even to stop caring about those things we might be in disagreement about. The way to draw closer in unity is not to have the everyone glossing over differences, or pretending disagreements aren't real, or that theology, personal history, or sin patterns are not important.

The way to pursue unity is to pursue Christ because that is where the unity is actually found. Our closeness and unity aren't the casual products of good intentions, similar interests, and agreeable personalities. Unity is hard bought with the blood of Christ and it is too precious to not pursue. This is true in your marriage. It is true in your church. It is true with believers who look different than you.

Pursuing unity might cost you some pride. Or reputation. Or power. It cost Christ his life.

Unity might take counseling. It certainly will take patience. But if you are in Christ you don't really have a choice. So, leave your grudges, feuds, and pettiness at the cross and allow Christ to begin a new work in your marriage, in your friendships and in your family. If you are earnest in pursuing him you just might be surprised at how unity shows up in your relationships with other believers.

On Being Pale. Really, Really Pale

Spring has sprung in Minnesota. This annual exodus from our months-long tortured and frozen winter captivity is marked by frequent sightings of exposed skin, re-introducing oneself to neighbors, and long lines at home and garden stores. In our house the first sighting of a hose sends the girls running for swimsuits. Only in springtime in Minnesota is 60 degrees appropriate weather for running through the sprinkler.

Warm weather also triggers other conversations in our house:

• The bakery is discussed frequently by our girls as an idea for where to head on our bike rides.
• My wife scolds, castigates, and otherwise pleas to make sure that dirty shoes stay outside.
• Our girls insist that they won't be cold with shorts and tank tops and pout when rebutted by us.
• We clarify with the girls that sidewalk chalk is indeed for the sidewalk, not the house, trees, cars, or their bodies. Apparently we haven't been clear enough on this one.  Long sigh......

Of all the springtime conversations that we have my favorite is my wife's annual lament over how pale she is. The truth is that our whole family is equally as pale, but she has a particular aversion to our pasty, creamy, and completely-lacking-in-melanin skin tone. My youngest daughter seems to have picked up on this as well as last summer she complained that her skin was "too bright". 

Each spring our family becomes a luminous beacon of the changing seasons for the whole neighborhood as we go on walks. This all too recognizable reminder of winter's long stranglehold over our skin-covering wardrobes is unfortunately something that clings to our skin long after others have taken on a summery complexion. I have been called "albino" on more than one occasion and have often thought my skin to be more opaque and translucent than any real actual color.

Anyway, to encourage my pale partner in parenting I wanted to take few minutes to extol the virtues of being so shockingly white.

• Our blood vessels are really easy to find for blood draws because our skin does nothing to hide them. Nurses love us.
• Wood ticks are easy to spot in spring, standing out as coal black specks on a pristine, shimmery white canvas. 
• We can get excited about the sunburn that we get the first time it is sunny and warmer than 50 degrees. Most people have to wait several more weeks or months until it hits the  mid-70's.
• Whatever tiny amount of color we might have picked up over the summer is lost almost immediately in the fall leaving us well prepared to become camouflaged with the first snowfall.
• Our wardrobe choices are easier because so many colors simply look horrible with our odd skin tone. Imagine if we could wear a full palette of colors. Talk about choice overload!
• We can embarrass our children by forcing them to wear those ridiculous (and completely unnecessary with sunscreen!) swimshirts. Our girls are likely going to be nerds anyways so we might as well start them early.
• The dizzying variety of ever-so-slightly-different shades of white that are available as paint colors are all very familiar. The differences between mother-of-pearl, white dove, lily of the valley, ivory white, cloud white, cotton balls, and paper white are well known to us. This blog post on 20 great shades of white paint could double as a map of the variations our skin tones take on over the course of a year.

While we might be the palest family we know, I am sure that we are not the only ones who have spent time laughing about how ridiculously pale they are. Some of you may have your own ridiculous list extolling/lampooning your lack of or abundance of melanin. At the end of the day we remain grateful for the unique way God made us and recognize the beauty of the full spectrum of human color. It is a wonder to behold the glorious variation among humans and know that each and every person is created in His image and each in their own way reflects a bit of His glory, beauty, and creativity.

Jet Lag Makes Me Ugly

I had great ambitions to write regularly during my time in Switzerland sharing about the leadership and personal growth lessons that I was learning. While I did in fact learn a lot, I wrote very little (none actually). It turns out that jet lag and I don't make very good friends. This was my first time meeting Mr. Jet Lag. Given my normally bad sleep patterns I thought Mr. Lag and I would get along pretty well last week. Instead, he crept up from behind and sucker punched me right in the nose and then continued to kick me while I was down.

I sat down to write several times and each time was firmly rebutted by my jet lag. The thoughts I managed to write down looked a lot like the middle-of-the-night ideas that seem brilliant/hilarious/world-changing in the moment only to be revealed to be the ramblings of a sleep deprived lunatic when morning comes. So if any of you missed hearing from me last week (shout out to my mom and grandma!) I apologize. I am back in the saddle again after sleeping nearly as much the past two nights as I did all of last week.

Travel, stress, fatigue and jet lag have a way of stirring up thoughts, emotions, and character issues that  most of us would rather keep hidden. For me this was especially true upon returning home. My girls, who I had missed terribly while gone, ended up on the receiving end as I vented frustration and anger that bubbled to the surface in my tired state. I have spent years trying to deal with those issues so seeing them rearing their ugly heads once again came as a bit of a surprise.

My first response to seeing this ugly, jet lagged Aaron was to try and dismiss the whole thing by saying "I'm not myself". Rather than apologizing to my girls for my clearly wrong behavior I actually made excuses about being tired. In my mind I was trying to distance myself from the ugliness that I was displaying. I failed to take responsibility for the words leaving my mouth and the actions being done with my own body. A bit of reflection later on helped me see that this dismissive behavior is a very curious bit of the human experience.

I think a lot of us tend to treat our ugly behavior in this same dismissive way by trying to justify it based on our circumstances (in my case jet lag). Rather than owning our words and actions we excuse them and shift the blame on to something or someone else. How peculiar that we can look at words coming out of our own mouths and avoid blame by saying "I'm not myself". We even do this baseless justifying for others when they are displaying ugliness we'd rather not have others associate with that person.

The question I asked myself when I was justifying my behavior was "whose behavior is this if not your own?" It was just too easy to say "I'm not myself." Instead of looking deeper to see where it was coming from I wanted to separate that behavior from myself. In distancing myself from my behavior I realized that I have an idealized version of myself that I try to project into the world. This idealized self can easily become a coping mechanism for avoiding blame with my ugly behavior. When I fail to live up to my ideal self I can simply dismiss the wrongness of my words and behavior by saying I am not being "myself".

It doesn't take a genius to realize that this convenient way of justifying my ugly, jet lagged behavior doesn't really hold up. If I wasn't being myself then who was I being? What I came to realize is that my ugly behavior is far more reflective of my true self than the idealized self I wanted my daughters and others to know. What if the ugliness that came out in my fatigue was really a more accurate picture of where my heart was at?

There is a very strong pull for us to try to hide our ugliness and distance ourselves from the sinful stuff in our lives. When the ugliness shows up we justify and excuse the behavior. Most of the rest of the time, rather than taking full ownership for the state of our hearts and dealing with it head on, we are able create a veneer of our "ideal self" through a whole bunch of other behaviors.

A lot of our good behavior, and more of our 'godly' character than we'd care to admit, have not actually come about by dealing with our ugliness or finding healing or actually repenting of sin. Instead, we keep up appearances of godliness by eliminating the triggers that reveal our ugly self. We seek security in finances, relationships, status, family and countless other places so that we can eliminate the stresses that reveal our lack of character. We fight endlessly for a stable, secure, well-rested lifestyle so that we can avoid our ugliness. The problem is that we haven't really dealt with our ugliness.

For me, my jet lag revealed that the 'work' I had done in dealing with anger and frustration issues never really dealt with the heart issues. Instead, I had built some things in to my life to avoid my triggers for ugliness: good sleep, a regular schedule, financial and relational security, and on and on. Seeing my ugliness as really being a part of me has given me hope that God will work deeper in my life. I don't want my character to be something that only shows up in the best of circumstances. It isn't really character if it disappears when I am tired, stressed, and things aren't going well. Our character is actually most revealed in those moments when our ugly self is most likely to rear its head.

One of the most refreshing things about living and working in the city and in impoverished contexts is the way that people don't hide from their sin and ugliness. They are often very aware of their failures and follies and don't run from them because in their poverty and relational brokenness they don't have the means to create the veneers that many in middle class contexts are so good at creating. Working where I do has helped me deal with my sin and ugliness and core heart issues in such a direct manner.

A few years ago I would have been content saying "I'm not myself" but now I can admit that "that ugly behavior is mine". No excuses. No justifying. No hiding. Just a chance to go to Jesus with all my ugliness. He doesn't want appearances, veneers, and our casual dismissal of our sin. He wants us to own all of it because he died for all of it. There is no guilt or shame in my ugliness because when I know it, confess it, and repent of it I can truly and finally be made clean, and pure and whole.

I may be wrong but I don't think I am the only one who has dealt with my sin and ugliness in this way. I leave you with some of the questions I have been processing these past few days with the hope that others like me might allow God to enter in to their struggles in a new way.

What triggers have you worked hard to avoid so that your sin doesn't surface? Have you truly dealt with the heart issues behind that sin and have you truly owned it?  What ugliness shows up in your life when you are stressed, tired, and things are not going well? Do you own that ugliness or do you dismiss it? What does your idealized self look like? What does your ugly self look like? Which self do you try to show the world? Which do you try to show God?

Learning in Switzerland

I am spending the week suffering for the Lord in Zurich Switzerland. It is not a typical part of my job working in the inner city to travel internationally to incredible places. I have been  a part of a leadership development program the past 2 years that is here for our final module. Starting this morning I will be in meetings learning some great things about leading in ministry from our program leaders as well as from the Swiss staff here.

Up to this point my beautiful bride and I, along with some others from the program, have spent the weekend adjusting to times zones and doing a bit of sight seeing.  If you want to see where we have been you can Google image search Zurich, Lucerne, and Mount Rigi. Not too bad of destinations even if one hasn't slept for 3 days.

With the serious learning yet to come I still managed to learn a few things over the weekend during our time spent playing tourist:

• My wife is as beautiful on this continent as she is on any other. Traveling with my best friend is a privilege beyond treasure. Come to think of it, any day spent with her is privilege. The beauty of the alps passing by in the train window lost some of their luster as I watched her sleeping with the sun dancing across her face yesterday afternoon.
• The Swiss know how to build watches and knives. They sell them everywhere. You'd think with such a saturated market you might be able to get a bargain on them. Not true. Saw a watch being sold for over $17,000 yesterday. Also saw a demonstration video of surgeon's using Swiss army knifes to perform open heart surgery. Ok, not really, but that would have been pretty cool and impressive.
• Cheese is good. All the time. Especially when in a country known for its dairy cows and that really knows how to make good cheese. They have cheese trays at breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it. 
• A place (land, homes, etc.) doesn't become yours because you own, use it, or even know it well. It becomes yours because you love it and give yourself to it. The Swiss love their land and you can tell. They have figured out that beautiful dance between people and nature where neither has gained the upper hand and both are better for it. People aren't fighting tooth and nail to survive and neither are they using, exploiting or otherwise fighting the land in to submission. Americans could learn something from the Swiss on this. 
• It is humbling to be in a place where things are old. We visited Ulrich Zwingli's church where Christians have been gathering to worship for around 1300 years! It was a powerful moment to realize God's goodness and faithfulness to a people and place. 
• Sunburn is a very real possibility even when there is still a few feet of snow on the ground. Somehow my pale, porcelain wife avoided sunburn while I currently look like a lobster. She is usually my canary in the mine when it comes to sun exposure and she failed me!

I am planning to write more thoughts about my week later on. They will probably prove more helpful for my readers as I reflect on leadership and growth. I may also mention the cheese again. So good!

Babies Are The Worst. So Am I

Few things make my wife happier than babies. Not just babies in general but the tiny, newborn, helpless and completely dependent kind of babies in particular. My wife spent years as an RN working in labor and delivery and is exceptionally gifted at caring for mothers and newborns. I on the other hand get very nervous about newborns. In my opinion, babies, from birth until 2-3 months old, have a far better reputation than they deserve.

Think about it for a minute. What do babies have going for them?  Apart from being cute they don't have a whole lot to offer the world. I have spent more time thinking about this than is healthy, but I feel an obligation to bring some realism to the discussion. So let's put cute/cuddly/chubby on the "pros" side and see how it stacks up against the "cons".

Babies:

• are nearly constantly making messes, usually involving body fluids and always creating laundry. If the poop/pee/throw-up were contained in/on the baby it would be one thing but that stuff ends up everywhere! That faint sour milk smell that new parents have isn't exactly pleasant and neither are the other things spewing forth from babies in frightening volumes.
• destroy sleep patterns affording little/no opportunity to think or otherwise function as a normal human being. I have felt myself on the brink of a nervous breakdown twice in my life. It is no coincidence that both occurred while I had new babies in the house. 
• empty wallets and bank accounts with great efficiency. With older kids you  can fight them with a discussion on needs versus wants but with babies everything presents itself as a need! 
• hurt themselves. A lot. Razor sharp fingernails, unparalleled ineptitude with hand/eye coordination, and unbalanced bodies due to over-sized heads lead to tears, scabs, and bruises on a daily basis. Get it together babies!
• make lots of noise. Sometimes its cute when they are babies but most of the time even that is quite accidental. More often if it isn't crying or screaming it is more explosive noises that indicate that new laundry has just been made.
• express no gratitude for the care they receive. They only demand more. 

It doesn't take to much insight to realize that babies are quite literally the worst roommates you could ever have.

And yet....

And yet there is a peculiar affection towards babies that renders the "cons" insignificant. A lifetime of tomorrows offers the promise of hopes fulfilled and love freely given and received. I imagine that God looks down on those of us who are in Christ with similar hope and love.

There are some profound parent/child dynamics at play in that list that mirror God's relationship with His children. We don't really have a lot to offer. Nothing, in fact, apart from His care and provision keeps us moving from one day to the next without total chaos. Just like babies we are messy, whiny, ungrateful, and expensive for God to love. Add in my absolute inability to present myself as "cute" and I have even less going for me!

The stark contrasts between a parent's selfless care and a child's complete dependence on that care are of deep spiritual significance for those of us who acknowledge that apart from God's grace we are headed for complete ruin. 

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ."

When Your Brain Doesn't Work

I'm only two weeks in to this blogging thing and I woke up today with a complete incapacity to get my brain working or to get something written. Funny thing is that I have a document with some rough sketches of about 15 or 20 different ideas to write about. None of the ideas triggered brain waves and they remain on a different page.

As a guy who primarily lives inside his own head, life becomes quite weird without the usual whirring of ideas around my brain. The reason I like quiet so much is because there is usually plenty of noise in my head which gives me plenty of entertainment. With no internal noise today I am so bored. Mostly with myself.  I feel like I am probably experiencing myself as most people usually experience me!

For whatever reason it seems like there are just some days where our brain functions never quite get on-board. My wife would probably suggest that that is typical for me but lets ignore it for a while and pretend that I am usually a mindful, attentive-to-detail, doesn't-lose-his-wallet kind of guy. 

But today my brain has been stuck. Writers aren't the only ones who have trouble doing the things they need or want to do. Writer's block is simply a contextualized name for a very human experience. My own writer's block (which I am working through as you read this) got me thinking about those times where our neurons just don't cooperate the way we'd like. There is actually some extensive and creative vocabulary dedicated to the moments where our brains fail us:

• brain farts
• not firing on all cylinders
• mental hiccups
• senior moments
• highway hypnosis
• "its on the tip of my tongue"
• mental constipation
• brain cramps
• drawing a blank
• coming up empty

We could probably keep the list going with our personal favorites. So, what to do with this flatulence of my faculties, this whoopee cushion of wit? 

What do you call those mental lapses? How do you handle them? For me today, I wrote a blog post not at all related to gastrointestinal issues and still managed to use the words fart, flatulence, constipation, and cramps and that seemed to work for me. 

It Is Finished

 Just three words

Three powerful words

Somber, celebrated words

"It is finished"

Words for Hope

And of Love

Words of Death

Words for Life

Betrayed, Denied, Forsaken

Mocking, Spitting, Whipping

Thorns, Nails, Spear

Blood, Tears, Water

Wrath swallowed up

Mercy poured out

Forgiveness freely given

Grace now ours

The Father's will

His Son's obedience

Crushed for us

A sacrificial lamb

Sorrow and Joy

Anger and Love

Judgment and Compassion

Slavery and Freedom

Perfect in life

Innocent in death

Victorious in resurrection

Returning in glory

Just three words

Three powerful words

Somber, celebrated words

"It is finished"