Aging and failing bodies are inevitable for us all. The bones and joints and sinews that God knit together in the womb can't avoid suffering the degenerative effects of life in a broken world. Even non-believers carry a sense of "this is not the way its supposed to be" when faced with sickness and death.
One of the "this is not the way its supposed to be" realities that God has put in my life has been a long struggle with anxiety and depression. Typically, I have had relative success managing it with diet, exercise, and sleep, the abc's of self-care for those struggling with these issues. But this year...this year has been different.
My experience this year has been one of sackcloth and ashes.
In the bible we see the people of God putting on sackcloth and sitting in ashes as a powerful sign of mourning, sorrow, and repentance. Usually it is in response to destruction and desolation or the exposure of sin and perversity among the people of God. In all these situations, the people choose to respond to difficult external circumstances by putting on sackcloth and ashes. They choose to enter into it as an act of mourning or to show contrition. There is a volitional act to make ones circumstances, appearance, and inward condition all aligned in despair and mourning.
Depression is different from these biblical depictions because there is no choice to put on sackcloth and ashes. The inward condition becomes stuck even as a person suffering depression might manage to control their outward appearance or experience change in their circumstances.
Depression and anxiety come unbidden and cast a shadow on the world. There is a palpable physical presence to it that is difficult to explain to those who have not bore the burden. Sackcloth and ashes becomes a way of life rather than a momentary choice and in spite of all external appearances.
Peace and joy are the first things to fall. Hope is the last. By God's grace I haven't had to fight to hold on to hope even in those moments when I am fighting for peace and joy. Others are not so fortunate. When our inner lives are in sackcloth and ashes it can be difficult to see things as they truly are.
If you hold a raw onion under your nose while eating an apple it will taste like an onion. It doesn't matter that you can see the apple in front of you. Your senses are confused and the smell in your nose overwhelms the apple taste in your mouth to the point where it tastes like onion. So it is with depression and anxiety: the "onion" in your soul overwhelms the "apple" that external appearances point to. It is hard to taste peace, joy, and hope when the smell of depression and anxiety overwhelm your soul.
I have found that faith is one of the greatest resources for fighting through anxiety and depression. To be very clear, I am not advocating that someone should forgo medication, counseling, and taking care of sleep, diet, and exercise. There are physical realities to be dealt with in whatever manner possible.
However, I want to share two additional things that have helped me fight well as a follower of Jesus Christ. Both things involve a remembering of sorts.
Depression and anxiety come unbidden and cast a shadow on the world. There is a palpable physical presence to it that is difficult to explain to those who have not bore the burden. Sackcloth and ashes becomes a way of life rather than a momentary choice and in spite of all external appearances.
Peace and joy are the first things to fall. Hope is the last. By God's grace I haven't had to fight to hold on to hope even in those moments when I am fighting for peace and joy. Others are not so fortunate. When our inner lives are in sackcloth and ashes it can be difficult to see things as they truly are.
If you hold a raw onion under your nose while eating an apple it will taste like an onion. It doesn't matter that you can see the apple in front of you. Your senses are confused and the smell in your nose overwhelms the apple taste in your mouth to the point where it tastes like onion. So it is with depression and anxiety: the "onion" in your soul overwhelms the "apple" that external appearances point to. It is hard to taste peace, joy, and hope when the smell of depression and anxiety overwhelm your soul.
I have found that faith is one of the greatest resources for fighting through anxiety and depression. To be very clear, I am not advocating that someone should forgo medication, counseling, and taking care of sleep, diet, and exercise. There are physical realities to be dealt with in whatever manner possible.
However, I want to share two additional things that have helped me fight well as a follower of Jesus Christ. Both things involve a remembering of sorts.
The first thing is to remember those times and places where God's grace was present and where His power and protection and grace were visible in your life.
In the old hymn "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" there is a line with a peculiar word that helps explain how this works: "here I raise my Ebenezer". And what in the world is an Ebenezer besides the first name of the Dickens character that inspired Scrooge McDuck? An Ebenezer is a "stone of help" that serves as a reminder of the Lord's power, protection, and blessing.
Taken from the Old Testament account of Israelite's crossing the Jordan River and the 1 Samuel 7 account of God's victory over the Philistines on behalf of Israel, an Ebenezer is a physical and visual testimony to God's gracious work in the lives of His people. These "stones of help" are to serve posterity as a reminder that God is present and powerful.
When anxiety and depression cling close it is important to remember those times and ways that God worked in your life. For me, I've kept numerous notes, emails, trinkets, or other little things through the years to serve as reminders of God's goodness to me. In seeing them I am reminded of God's faithfulness even when my heart is having a hard time seeing it.
While stones of remembrance help us look back in time, the second kind of remembering looks forward. This second remembering is what has allowed me to hold on to hope even when joy and peace elude my grasp. We can fight for hope by looking forward as we remember and cling to the promises of God.
I have trained my heart to grab on to specific applicable promises of God when darkness settles in. This is to remind myself of what is mine in Christ. Philippians 4:6-7 is one promise and passage that has fought countless battles on my behalf: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Whatever your struggles or particular anxieties, there are promises in scripture to hold on to that we can trust. Scour God's word for those promises and learn to bring them to mind when the anxiety comes. This practice has done more for my soul than anything else in my life. Even when joy and peace have felt distant, hope in God has remained because the trustworthiness of His promises has never failed.
Jesus Christ's inauguration speech in Luke 4:18-19 is recycled material from Isaiah 61 where God speaks promises of deliverance. I suppose Jesus is cleared of any plagiarism charges because He also spoke those original words to Isaiah.
In commencing his ministry as the fulfillment of all God's promises (1 Cor. 1:20) Jesus chose words of deliverance and freedom. He ends with verse two of Isaiah 61 but verse three contains an additional promise for freedom and deliverance that offers hope to all those struggling in the sackcloth and ashes of depression and anxiety. In verse three we see an exchange of the ashes of mourning for the oil of joy and the sackcloth of despair for a garment of praise.
I want to close with Isaiah 61:1-3 where we find the incredible hope that sackcloth and ashes will not be the final reality for those struggling with sackcloth and ashes in their souls:
In the old hymn "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" there is a line with a peculiar word that helps explain how this works: "here I raise my Ebenezer". And what in the world is an Ebenezer besides the first name of the Dickens character that inspired Scrooge McDuck? An Ebenezer is a "stone of help" that serves as a reminder of the Lord's power, protection, and blessing.
Taken from the Old Testament account of Israelite's crossing the Jordan River and the 1 Samuel 7 account of God's victory over the Philistines on behalf of Israel, an Ebenezer is a physical and visual testimony to God's gracious work in the lives of His people. These "stones of help" are to serve posterity as a reminder that God is present and powerful.
When anxiety and depression cling close it is important to remember those times and ways that God worked in your life. For me, I've kept numerous notes, emails, trinkets, or other little things through the years to serve as reminders of God's goodness to me. In seeing them I am reminded of God's faithfulness even when my heart is having a hard time seeing it.
While stones of remembrance help us look back in time, the second kind of remembering looks forward. This second remembering is what has allowed me to hold on to hope even when joy and peace elude my grasp. We can fight for hope by looking forward as we remember and cling to the promises of God.
I have trained my heart to grab on to specific applicable promises of God when darkness settles in. This is to remind myself of what is mine in Christ. Philippians 4:6-7 is one promise and passage that has fought countless battles on my behalf: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Whatever your struggles or particular anxieties, there are promises in scripture to hold on to that we can trust. Scour God's word for those promises and learn to bring them to mind when the anxiety comes. This practice has done more for my soul than anything else in my life. Even when joy and peace have felt distant, hope in God has remained because the trustworthiness of His promises has never failed.
Jesus Christ's inauguration speech in Luke 4:18-19 is recycled material from Isaiah 61 where God speaks promises of deliverance. I suppose Jesus is cleared of any plagiarism charges because He also spoke those original words to Isaiah.
In commencing his ministry as the fulfillment of all God's promises (1 Cor. 1:20) Jesus chose words of deliverance and freedom. He ends with verse two of Isaiah 61 but verse three contains an additional promise for freedom and deliverance that offers hope to all those struggling in the sackcloth and ashes of depression and anxiety. In verse three we see an exchange of the ashes of mourning for the oil of joy and the sackcloth of despair for a garment of praise.
I want to close with Isaiah 61:1-3 where we find the incredible hope that sackcloth and ashes will not be the final reality for those struggling with sackcloth and ashes in their souls:
The Year of the Lord’s Favor
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.
Thank you, Aaron. It is good to see how you have been able to bring His truth to the foundation of your life and begin to build from there. That encourages me.
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