I Was Right

If you've been married for any length of time you've had moments where with a vindictive sense of pleasure you tell your spouse "I told you so". Nothing feels sweeter than that little moment of victory. It doesn't even matter if it is something important or stupid and of no consequence. Being right just fees soooo good no matter the circumstance.

Unfortunately my wife has an incredible memory, is well read, and can recall details and information far better than me. Add to that the fact that she is an excellent judge of character and an exceptional listener and it should become obvious that I am not often celebrating those glorious moments of being right. As an aside, my wife reads about half these posts so I hope she skips this one where I admit she is usually right!

With victories being so few and far between for me I tend to hold on to them. They are my 'stones of remembrance' and serve me well every time I end up frustrated about being wrong again. Admittedly my 'victories' aren't much to go on so I really have to play them up and help my wife re-live those moments. It's kind of like being from Wisconsin where apart from a dumb football team there isn't much else to celebrate. Those victories, that are inconsequential to most of the world, become heightened, glorious, and almost rapturous experiences in the minds of those celebrating.

Anyway, this post isn't about a stupid green and yellow football team from a state whose only other contributions to the world are beer and cheese. It is a post about me and one of the most glorious "I told you so" moments in my marriage.

Neither my wife or I do well with traffic and construction and delays while driving. Even with these similarities, early in our marriage we had different ways of coping with backups at merging lanes. My wife would dutifully get over as soon as possible while grumbling about the wait she was facing. I would squeeze every last inch out the closing lane with a look of glee on my face as I passed all the saps who had already merged.

For years if I was driving with my wife in those traffic-laced, lane closing, merging situations I would get an "Aaron...you're that guy. Don't be that guy" or even a "that's rude" from my wife. And I would shrug it off and point to the beautiful open road in front of us and say "we don't want to waste open lanes!"

So whenever we came upon a backed up merge we would go back and forth:

"Get over"

"The lane is open!"

"It's not nice"

"But it's smart"

"We have to merge!!!"

"We will. Eventually. This is faster"

These incidents were always followed by conversations that took far more time and emotion than was warranted for something so minor. My wife, bolstered with over-confidence from usually being right refused to back off her stance. And I, equipped with cold logic and practical experience wouldn't back down either.

Our standstill came to an end thanks to the Minnesota Department of Transportation. It is their job to study traffic, efficient driving, and safe roadways. Backups at merging lanes were slow enough and dangerous enough for them to spend significant time and money doing research for how to make things faster and safer.

And their findings?

I WAS RIGHT!!!

Completely, absolutely, and with no qualifications I was right in sticking to the closing lane as long as possible. They even have name for it: the zipper merge.

And the best part was that the Department of Transportation decided to disseminate this information was through a series of public service announcements. They even wrote a jingle about 'the zipper merge'.  I nearly had to pull off the road the first time I heard that jingle. The sense of vindication was so wonderful and pure.

I wish I could say that I didn't gloat or smirk or taunt the first time my wife and I heard the "zipper merge" jingle together. But then I would be lying and I really want this blog to be a place of honest conversation. I whooped and yelled and smiled an obnoxious smile. And then "I told you so" may have been proclaimed once or twice or ten times.

Finding and watching these videos with my wife remains a highlight of our early years of marriage. Thanks MNDOT!

And again here:

Even in writing this post that sense of satisfaction comes back. Before you judge too harshly remember that I have very few victories to hang my hat on. But for that one moment (and every moment those PSA's come on again) I was right.

Sometimes I try to make a point out of the stories I tell here but I enjoy this one too much to sully it by making it into something more than what it was: glorious and petty vindication.

I'd love to hear of other petty "I told you so" moments that you celebrate disproportionately to their actual significance. Or perhaps I'm the only one....