These places are dark and unexplored. Sometimes it is because time and testing haven't afforded opportunity for sanctification to uproot that darkness. Other times it is sin and stronghold's that have yet to be overturned. In still other circumstances our hearts are quite content with leaving things in darkness because we know the tumult that would result from giving up our attachment to those things. There are also places where we allow questions and doubts to keep our faith at bay.
These places show us the edge of our faith. The edge of faith is where we look at our lives and hearts and see places where Christ's light is yet to shine.
Recently it seems as if my soul has been camped out on the edge of my faith. For long stretches I had been in the safe confines of explored territory in my walk with God. Things in life were going well on as many fronts as one could expect.
However, the recent adoption process that my wife and I have gone through have pushed me to the edge. With so much thrown into upheaval as we have welcomed our son, I have found my faith pushed and stretched in new ways.
For me the area of my life that God has been calling me to surrender so that may faith can grow has to do with my love of control. My heart loves being able to figure things out, to analyze, predict, and manage the circumstances in my life. I won't get into the details of how I do that or how I hide that idolatry.
Anyway, for years I have gotten away with having a sense of control and my heart and flesh were happy in that. It turns out that much of what appeared as strength and stability was built on my life being safe and calculated. If you haven't had part of your supposed sanctification exposed as being fraudulent, let me tell you it isn't fun. It seems that typically our hearts have a way of pretending that we are better than we really are.
All the chaos and uncertainty and change that comes from adoption have brought my faith into direct conflict with the place in my heart that loves control. It has taken work and prayer and tears and surrender to allow God to grow my faith into this area. As my love for control has been exposed I have had to go to God time and again seeking forgiveness and asking Him to grow my faith beyond the edge into new places in my life.
I think our tendency is to shirk away from these edges of our faith. It is easier to order our lives around safe places and safe people and predictable patterns so that we can have a safe faith. To live on the edge of our faith, to put ourselves in a place where our faith will grow or take us to new places, requires sacrifice or hardship or change and that is hard.
To see our faith grow we sometimes have to give up safe places and safe people and break out of the patterns or habits that keep us safe. If we don't break out ourselves, chances are life by itself will force the issue with you sooner or later.
Cancer.
Miscarriage.
Divorce.
And the list goes on.
To get to the edge of your faith and experience that testing is not something we wake up each day setting out to do. It is hard work and it leaves you feeling fragile. In my journey through those "edge of faith" moments I have described my heart as living in a place of "terrifying freedom."
The terrifying part comes from the fear of the unknown. It comes from my doubting heart and sinful flesh. It comes from anxious worry that hasn't surrendered its doubts and questions into the hands of our loving God.
The freedom comes from watching God work in new ways. It comes from truly seeing His strength made perfect in weakness and from learning that His grace is indeed sufficient. There is freedom and joy and comfort in experiencing God in new ways and in new areas of life.
The hardship and struggle of my journey over the past few months has given God ample opportunity to push me through the "terror" and into His freedom. For that reason I can give thanks for the hard things and the uncertain things and the completely-out-of-my-control things because He has used it to push the edges of my faith into new places in my heart and life.
Looking at scripture I have been encouraged by the huge number of examples of pushed-to-the-edge faith. God's people have always had to move through fear into freedom. Into forgiveness.
Israel walked through the terror and into freedom as they crossed the Red Sea.
Gideon did the same as he saw his army shrink before his eyes.
Mary did it when she went to Joseph with the news that she was pregnant.
Peter stepped through his terror and into freedom when he stepped out of the boat.
Each of us does the same in that moment of confession when we repent and trust Christ. The question in our heart rings out "is there grace still for me?" and then we come to God and find that indeed His reservoirs of love and mercy have not run dry. Fear and then freedom. The edge of faith.
So where is the edge for you? Where is God calling you to surrender part of your heart or life? What decision has doubt or anxiety kept you from making? I'd encourage you to step up to the edge, step through the fear, and into the freedom that comes from surrendering to God and following His will.
If you need some encouragement, Hebrews 12 is an exhortation for this kind of faith. Jesus, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, is our example. He is the author and perfecter of our faith, calling us to the edges in our hearts and lives so that we can experience more and more freedom.
Recently it seems as if my soul has been camped out on the edge of my faith. For long stretches I had been in the safe confines of explored territory in my walk with God. Things in life were going well on as many fronts as one could expect.
However, the recent adoption process that my wife and I have gone through have pushed me to the edge. With so much thrown into upheaval as we have welcomed our son, I have found my faith pushed and stretched in new ways.
For me the area of my life that God has been calling me to surrender so that may faith can grow has to do with my love of control. My heart loves being able to figure things out, to analyze, predict, and manage the circumstances in my life. I won't get into the details of how I do that or how I hide that idolatry.
Anyway, for years I have gotten away with having a sense of control and my heart and flesh were happy in that. It turns out that much of what appeared as strength and stability was built on my life being safe and calculated. If you haven't had part of your supposed sanctification exposed as being fraudulent, let me tell you it isn't fun. It seems that typically our hearts have a way of pretending that we are better than we really are.
All the chaos and uncertainty and change that comes from adoption have brought my faith into direct conflict with the place in my heart that loves control. It has taken work and prayer and tears and surrender to allow God to grow my faith into this area. As my love for control has been exposed I have had to go to God time and again seeking forgiveness and asking Him to grow my faith beyond the edge into new places in my life.
I think our tendency is to shirk away from these edges of our faith. It is easier to order our lives around safe places and safe people and predictable patterns so that we can have a safe faith. To live on the edge of our faith, to put ourselves in a place where our faith will grow or take us to new places, requires sacrifice or hardship or change and that is hard.
To see our faith grow we sometimes have to give up safe places and safe people and break out of the patterns or habits that keep us safe. If we don't break out ourselves, chances are life by itself will force the issue with you sooner or later.
Cancer.
Miscarriage.
Divorce.
And the list goes on.
To get to the edge of your faith and experience that testing is not something we wake up each day setting out to do. It is hard work and it leaves you feeling fragile. In my journey through those "edge of faith" moments I have described my heart as living in a place of "terrifying freedom."
The terrifying part comes from the fear of the unknown. It comes from my doubting heart and sinful flesh. It comes from anxious worry that hasn't surrendered its doubts and questions into the hands of our loving God.
The freedom comes from watching God work in new ways. It comes from truly seeing His strength made perfect in weakness and from learning that His grace is indeed sufficient. There is freedom and joy and comfort in experiencing God in new ways and in new areas of life.
The hardship and struggle of my journey over the past few months has given God ample opportunity to push me through the "terror" and into His freedom. For that reason I can give thanks for the hard things and the uncertain things and the completely-out-of-my-control things because He has used it to push the edges of my faith into new places in my heart and life.
Looking at scripture I have been encouraged by the huge number of examples of pushed-to-the-edge faith. God's people have always had to move through fear into freedom. Into forgiveness.
Israel walked through the terror and into freedom as they crossed the Red Sea.
Gideon did the same as he saw his army shrink before his eyes.
Mary did it when she went to Joseph with the news that she was pregnant.
Peter stepped through his terror and into freedom when he stepped out of the boat.
Each of us does the same in that moment of confession when we repent and trust Christ. The question in our heart rings out "is there grace still for me?" and then we come to God and find that indeed His reservoirs of love and mercy have not run dry. Fear and then freedom. The edge of faith.
So where is the edge for you? Where is God calling you to surrender part of your heart or life? What decision has doubt or anxiety kept you from making? I'd encourage you to step up to the edge, step through the fear, and into the freedom that comes from surrendering to God and following His will.
If you need some encouragement, Hebrews 12 is an exhortation for this kind of faith. Jesus, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, is our example. He is the author and perfecter of our faith, calling us to the edges in our hearts and lives so that we can experience more and more freedom.
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