Feeling Anxious?

I'm starting a new "series" of posts today talking about anxiety. Because I struggle with anxiety I obviously will be writing from experience in many instances but I hope to write in a more general way as well that might connect better with others experiences. It is a hard balance between appropriate vulnerability and TMI, especially on a blog open to the world.  Central to my experience is my faith in Jesus Christ so I am hoping that scripture bleeds through my writing as well.

I have two hopes in writing these posts:

1. To provide encouragement to those dealing with anxiety and to help combat the "I'm all alone in this" spirit that often comes with anxiety. In fact part of my writing is to fight that for myself.
2. To help those who love someone with anxiety perhaps understand more of what the experience is like. I know it can be hard for others to understand because most people with anxiety don't understand it themselves! Everyone's experience of anxiety (or depression) is different so thoughtful questions about each persons experience will be necessary as you love and care for someone in the middle of the battle. 

One of the things that has helped me in processing my anxiety has been drawing. The irony of this is pretty huge as it used to make me anxious to have to draw anything. I was truly bad in school and stopped taking art classes as soon as was allowed. Until a few months ago I had not willfully drawn anything in over twenty years. 

Well, I'm drawing (poorly) now and decided that I would share those pictures on these posts as many of them communicate a point I'd like to make about my experience with anxiety. With that said, don't expect to be wowed by the drawings. They wouldn't belong on the walls of those coffee shops that always have weird, local, and sometimes bad artwork hanging.

Today's piece I've just now decided to call "Anxious, Yet Roguishly Handsome". Not because the second part is true but to show that I still have my sense of humor. It may not be funny to you other than the fact that it is not a good drawing and doesn't look a ton like me. It reminds me a bit of the picture Napoleon Dynamite draws for his date to the dance. Even so, my sense of humor is still there when I am struggling anxiety. I am still me. The ridiculous title (not the picture) communicates one thing that I and others with anxiety really want others to understand: we are still ourselves. 

"Anxious Yet Roguishly Handsome"

Anxiety presses in in strange ways that leave you feeling not yourself and leave you worried that others will think this new "not yourself-ness" is the real you. I am not my anxiety. I struggle with it, and sometimes it tries to define me, but at the end of the day I am still Aaron Robertson. I may not look it in the moment and sometimes I may not feel it myself, but the thing that I keep pushing towards is being fully "me". For me, my desire is that people would take a longer view of who I am over time versus taking a smaller glimpse of the struggle and thinking I have turned into someone different.

I will focus on various aspects of my experience of anxiety and my reflections on it as this series continues. For this post I wanted to close by passing along two helpful links. 

The first is a link for those struggling with anxiety that explains a coping technique called "grounding" that I have found very helpful. I even used it recently with my daughter as she was very anxious about flying on a plane. It worked very well for her too and is something that I am now teaching my other kids as a way to handle negative emotions in a positive way.

The second link has a list of things that people struggling with anxiety wished that others could understand. When I read it I felt very understood as I worked through others responses as many of them were things that I have thought and felt. 

As these posts continue I'd love to hear thoughts and questions from you so please don't hesitate to comment.