Older, Rounder, and Hopefully Wiser

I am of the age where exercise and diet are conscious parts of my daily life. A few years ago this wasn't the case. The youthful days of eating whatever I wanted left several years ago. What a precious and wonderful gift of a high metabolism I had all those years.  Sigh...

Six months ago I had the misfortune of deciding to step on a scale right AFTER Christmas brunch where I was greeted by a number I had never seen before. There are rarely good surprises when one steps on the scale so I'm not sure why, after months of not checking, I felt that that fateful moment would be a good time to do so. For me, I was shocked to look down at a number that put me a few pounds heavier than my 'playing weight' when I was playing college football and eating 5,000 calories a day just to keep the weight on. Never again will I use a scale after a holiday meal!

Anyway, I have been reflecting on how I got myself into this situation. It has been a cruel trick of time that my old habits are all of sudden very detrimental to my health and well-being. A lot of life is like that. We develop habits and routines that are fitting to a specific time in life and that work within a certain place and for certain relationships. Because they work in that time/space/relationship we can trick ourselves into thinking we've got something figured out for life whether it be diet and exercise, time management, or relationships.

And then:

• we step on a scale and realize our old diet and exercise routine are suddenly not working
• we get married, get in squabbles over preferences and find that our selfish use of time doesn't work anymore and that some of our self-indulgent habits won't fly anymore
• we have kids and realize that some of the strength of our marriage was built on freedom, getting good sleep, and being selfish with our time.

It can be so easy to find ourselves backed into a corner wondering "how did I get here" when we rely on habits and routines to keep us healthy. We ought to be far more mindful and attentive to the changing demands of life so that we can adjust on the go. This would have made my Christmas morning much happier. 

It wouldn't be an issue if it only affected us but as an added kick in the pants, many of our petty fights are about these same habits, routines, and preferences. We have our way of doing things and we bring that with us through time and differing relationships and expect it to work everywhere and with everyone.

Circumstances, people, and even our bodies are always changing so it can be dangerous to become set in your ways. Life just has too much variety for us to ever settle too deeply into some of our habits and routines. That is what the scale told me on Christmas morning.

I'm not suggesting that we need to do away with routine and question whether or not brushing our teeth is good for us. But I think it is very helpful and appropriate to hold on to some of our habits and routines much more lightly than we typically do. And maybe we should build into our routine a time of self examination where we look at those habits, preferences, and routines and ask ourselves:

• "is this going to serve me well going forward?"
• "how is this impacting those I love?"
• "what circumstantial changes have I had or will I have that might re-shuffle the deck for me?"

For me and my expanding waistline asking these questions helped me make a few healthy changes to my diet and to my exercise habits. My body simply needs something different than what it did previously if I am going to remain healthy. The same is true of my marriage. And my parenting.

Chances are if you haven't given much thought to your habits, routines, and preferences you are probably holding on to some things that really won't help you in the long run. It's hard to give them up and it is difficult to change but it sure is worth it.